Parenting outside of guilt can takings spoiled, socially maladaptive children.
The guilty thoughts you internalize cause you to do whatever you can to make your children happy. You give in to their every desire -- even when you know their desires are not in their best interest. You know that allowing them to stay awake past reasonable bedtimes will render them sleepy in class tomorrow, but if it will make them happy tonight, you acquiesce.
One sign of guilt parenting is that you blame yourself that your children's lives aren't perfect, frequently attributing any of their unhappiness or misbehavior to decisions you've made. You tell yourself that your son didn't win the spelling bee because you worked extra hours rather than help him study at home, or you feel responsible for kids teasing your daughter because you could only afford to buy her off-brand shoes.
Fulfilling Every Desire
Realizing you're not consummate is a division of vitality a source. On the other hand, that perceptive doesn't block you from excitability guilty approximately some of the decisions you cook and how they may act on your children. Allowing work to interfere with quality time or going through a separation, divorce or remarriage can cause you to doubt yourself and make parenting decisions out of guilt.
Self-Blame
You worry that moving your children to a new town has made them utterly miserable, so you shower them with more gifts than you would normally.Bypassing Discipline
You fail to discipline wrongdoing because you figure they're lives have suffered because of your failures, and you would rather give your kids a break than the discipline, structure and accountability they need. You worry your divorce has ruined your child's life, so when she lashes out disrespectfully, you say nothing about her tone because you believe her when she declares that her misery is all your fault. You feel guilty that your son doesn't like his new stepmother, so you say nothing when he breaks curfew because you believe you're to blame for his misery at home.
Guilt-Trip Trap
Your children know just what awful incident to point out to change your mind because you've taught them that putting a guilt-trip on you will get them what they want. Your daughter wants money to go shopping with friends, and you deny her because the grade on her last Algebra test was below par. Yet when she points out that you never did take her to the mall like you promised last week, you hand over half the money in your wallet and even offer to let her borrow the car.
The Reality
If you teach your children that they can circumvent discipline with dirty looks and angry voices, you will fail to provide them with structures that are important to their ultimate well-being and maturity. Giving in to every desire, withholding discipline, and being the object of your children's guilt trips may put smiles on your children's faces in the short term. In the long run, however, you will reinforce negative behaviors, lose your children's respect, and raise them to become self-centered, manipulative and socially maladaptive adults unable to comprehend why they can't always have their way.
